Always Be Yourself

always be youOne of the most important lessons you will learn in life is to always be yourself.  Too many times I see guys tryingot be something they are not and then wonder why they are single.  This is not going to be an article on dating advice, but it does affect how others (in this case, women) perceive you based on your actions.

I have watched my friends go through this time and again and they never seem to get it.  It’s not rocket science, but yet it eludes them al the same.  They go out and try to be the nice guy.  The try to act as if they are something that is completely outside theiur natural nature and then when they approach a girl they are interested in with this tactic, it bombs completely and they are left wondering why.

Women can sniff out bullshit, plain and simple.  Now and again you might find one you can fool, but I promise you, you can’t keep up the act forever, and one day your true colors will show.

What do I mean by this you ask?  You are trying to be something that is outside your nature of being in order to go after something that you want.  Theproblem with this is that at some time the real you will surface and though you may have pulled off your stunt temporarily, it can backfire once the real you is revealed.

You need to learn to be comfortable with who you are.  Women will appreciate it a lot more and you will get a lot further along with this mentality.  Everybody has their quirks. Everybody has things that are not going to fly with others.  The way I found to make it work is to just be you. If there are things in your life that you do not like about yourself, by all means make improvements on those aspects of your life, but understand that for it to stick, it MUST be a permanent part of your life change.

Own up to who you are and learn to like it and embrace it and take that strength and be “Super” you.

I am going to be very vague here as to not upset the individual that I will be speaking about. I know a guy who has various interests in life, he has had small relationships off and on for many years but nothing that has ever stuck.  His tactics of late is this:  he posts on social media all these romantic girly memes in hopes that some latest love interest of his will see him as this “good guy”.  I am not saying he isn’t a good guy, he’s a badass, but where he fails to see the light is that he tries to put himself out there as this romantic because he thinks that this will impress whatever girl he is going after at the time.  Sure he will get a coupe weeks out of whoever falls for that BS, but eventually it always ends up the same…”damn, I’m single again”.

To wrap up this portion of my point let me say this:  we can’t all have Angelina Jolie, OK?  I’m not saying you couldn’t pull it off, but it will take a hell of a lot more dedication and (healthy) obsession to accomplish that goal.  Be you and the right girl will come along.  Never lie to yourself and think I can just change this and this and voila, instant girlfriend.  It doesn’t work that way.  Stay true  to you and you will reap the benefits .

Fake It Until You Make It

This tactic is a double edged sword.  Do it right, and it will work to help YOU to reshape YOUR life. Do it wrong and you just come out looking like another idiot who doesn’t get it.

Most people that fail in life do so because the y don’t recognize that you have to have a certain mentality for being successful (among other things). Using the fake it until you make it tactic can help to shape your thought pattern so that you start thinking like a successful person long before you achieve the goal of being successful.

What worked for me was a couple things. First I wrote down a list of things I liked and didn’t like about myself.  I looked at the list of “don’t likes” and chose a few things I was able to amend or change without losing myself in the process (see first part of this article above). I then studied other successful people and I found a common denominator in every single one of them.  

First was every successful person takes action…massive action, meaning they have a goal and do everything in their power to pull that motivation out of them to reach the goal letting nothing get in their way. Sitting on your ass all day hoping for “what if’s” and my favorite, “maybe tomorrow” won’t get you squat!  The problem with tomorrow is that tomorrow never comes.  You have to make a decision to take action an move on it.  It then needs to be a part of your life that is just as habitual as brushing your teeth every morning before you go to work.

Secondly, be yourself.  Not everyone in this world is going to like you.  I have my haters and I love it. In my business, my haters let me know I am doing something right, but i do not let their opinions of me affect my goals.  Screw them!  If they are spending their time hating you, that means you have free rent in their head and that, to me, is hilarious.  It’s also what has allowed me to dominate my space in my business and leave them in the dust which further enrages them.  See, they spend their time thinking about me and hating me for my success, but I don’t spend a nanosecond thinking about them. Why?  Because it doesn’
t benefit me in the slightest to reaching my goals.  My focus MUST remain on my goals for success 24/7/365. For many years I watched my friends partying, blowing money on dumb shit and staying exactly where they are today.  Meanwhile, I was focusing on my goals, being me and not giving a shit because, hey, I got things to do, places to go and goals to accomplish.  At the time, my goal was seeing that my wife and I could get out of apartment life and finally buy a house.

It took a couple years of focus and not deviating from my plan.  I spent my time working my ass off on my business and getting new clients and making them happy.  In return they filled my bank account and this last year, 2018, we bought a house and put down over 60% for a down payment and it didn’t affect us in the slightest financially.

I got off topic a bit here so let’s go back.  Fake it until you make it is a mentality that you can use to “see” yourself as successful way before you actually become successful. See yourself as an alpha male, see yourself as already being a success and then act upon those thoughts to achieve the goals you set for yourself. Start making friends with those who are successful.  The old saying you are who you hang out with is so true and I cannot emphasize that enough.  Look, the bottom line is success leaves clues.  You can find out how to be successful by hanging around others who have already made it.  You don’t have to let the cat out of the bag that you aren’t there yet to anyone but you.  What you will see is that over time their mannerisms will rub off on you and you will start thinking and acting like them and before you know it, as long as you implement what you observe into your goals, you will reach them.

I wasn’t originally going top cover this topic, but I think it is important to a point:  Fashion, meaning looking your best.  Now, I am a jeans and t-shirt kinda guy and wearing a suit never “suited” me…LOL.  Owning my own business I make sure I look good and not like a backwoods trailer park rat.  Have a little pride in yourself and make yourself look good every day.  I am not talking about keeping up with the Jones’s, fuck them!  I am talking about taking a good look at how you look.  You don’t have to shop at Sak’s to look great.  You need to find your style and make it yours. When I go visit clients, I don’t get all dressed up in a suit.  i may put on a leather sports coat or something that reflects who I am, but that is about the extent of it.  I had a colleague ask me once, don’t you want to impress so and so?  I was like, yeah, my intelligence and the value i bring to the table is how I will impress them, not by being a fashion model. I’m not here for fashion. She freaked until I landed that $8000.00 deal 30 minutes later.

One of my mentors in business is a guy named Gary Vaynerchuk.  If you read my other post about not giving a fuck, you saw the video he shot.  This guys pulls in $300 million a year easy.  Does he give a shit what he is wearing? No. Why?  Because he is confident in himself and knows he is the master of his space and knows the value he brings to his clients. We get stuck in this 1950’s bullshit mentality that we have to look a certain way or wear this brand of clothes. I can look just as good as any other Joe out there with carefully chosen clothing from Walmart of all places as I can from a $1000 trip to Saks.

What I want you to take away from this article is 1. Be yourself, no matter what; 2. Be true to yourself always; 3. Set goals, become obsessed with reaching them and take massive action to get there; 4. Don’t pretend to be something your not if you are trying to get the girl, because it will backfire…badly; 5. Learn to love your haters because it means you are doing something right…and you know…to hell with them! 6. NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN, PERIOD!!!

Good Advice Below